THREE POEMS

i’d like to think that you have cried a thousand times in your heart

my beloved

your elbow is on the door
it rests there
your eyes are red and small
and i’d like to think that you have cried
a thousand times in your heart (a white lie)
i leave because you want me to

i tell myself
i can make many beautiful things out of this moment
like how i have written down the death of my Pop ninety six times
(until they took away my pen)
stifled tears i get them from my mother

despite myself
my body pulls up artifacts like
the peanut butter or someone
touching my arm beneath the stop sign

i will be more honest than the sunlight
there are a couple ways i can prove that i am the worst person you have ever met
and those thoughts light up in white like our bones
so that i can wake up as soon as i think of them
maybe that’s why i can never sleep —

i want to wake up so
because i think of us

pray for me

no, pray for yourself,
no, i think you would find peace
in a city without me, so
no, pray for something else,
like the city of Providence,
since the city was taken away from me
by people who died there
for something more and less than money

and i have heard people of Providence
begging me to never visit
that nothing good can ever happen there

so i
press my ear on the cold asphalt
listening to further instructions
from the city that was once mine and never yours.

From My Beach

On the nighttime beach
sparkling black sands

we face away the sunlight
and become a singular darkness

we fought a ton because
we were too close
and we always lost

in front of love
always us.

You can love more with distance.

We recited it like a prayer
and decided to forgive each other.

And when we looked away from each other
to become more distant

there was sand pile pouring on our backs

Swaying Slowly
the waves that departed

looked like someone’s hand
begging them not to leave.

A decision to grasp the sand in your hand
when you’re standing in the middle of the ocean.

We never go back into the waves

never.

Your neck is burnt under the sun
and your face is pale
like your head is floating in the air

and I think to myself
I just witnessed your disappearance
and now everything seems so far away.

Everything becomes more concise
simpler than ever
on the nighttime beach.

name-ing

if the stars fall,
let them be where you are.

stars that pierce through your ceiling
whenever you open the window,
they pour into your green blanket

i wanted to be someone who can
gather the scattered stars on your bed and put it back in your heart
hold your arm
scarred
from the stars that poured down on you
and kiss the wound

when you really think about it
there is not much i can do
but especially with you
i really couldn’t do anything

i made you uncomfortable
by eating more quietly
than you
who ate in silence

My Silent Child,
very often
i wanted to scream with open sunroof and open windows
screaming so loud
with you

i remember the day the silence came
and you embraced my naked back
you were small
and i was warm

we are a farewell forever but it feels like we were in love forever

i wish to
pat your head and jump into the ocean
we will float through the waves of Fogland Beach
and get rid of the texture of skin
the touch of hands
do you remember what i used to say about the music of your hands?

this is a beautiful disaster
a planet called you has left me
there’s somethings you left me that only i can understand

like your name
since no one knows what i should call you

only i do.

AUTHOR: Sehee Oh
ARTIST: Madeline Kim